Husbands, Are They there for you or Not?

 I married at 21, in Greece. It was his second marriage. My first. I had no intention of joining the navy to find a husband. I wanted to travel. But shit happens. I was in lust and love.

                                                           Cape Souno, Greece

I had two sons, we lived in Puerto Rico then he reenlisted and we were stationed in San Diego.
He went to sea and I raised my sons alone. I had good girlfriends to chat and have lunch with; they got me through it.

We were then stationed in Stockton, which is half way between San Francisco and Sacramento. I grew up in the Bay Area and wanted to be close to my parents. But that didn't work out. (see previous blog post)

My husband partied with his work friends and left me out. Then one day he said he didn't love me and perhaps never had. Wow, talk about a kick in the gut. The boys were young. I almost returned to San Diego at a girlfriend's request. But we patched things up. Still, I never trusted him fully after that.

He's moody, and doesn't share much. He got diabetes, I got MS. Then he had heart blockage. I thought we'd muddle through it all.

Now, in the year of 2020 and Covid19, we have two lovely granddaughters, isn't it time to pull together? You said you loved me; I thought you loved me.

                                Husband and me in front of the base in Nea Makri on 2019 trip

He's moody again, goes on long errands, and we seldom have sex. What is going on? If I ask, he's cold and clipped in his replies. He denies anything is wrong. I'm left hanging. 

We're patched up again, but only because I demanded he change his mood. I never know when the next 'episode' will happen.

Yes, I'm venting but that's what I created this site for. It's my on-line, gotta bitch, diary.

My website about my books and nothing to do with this blog: Dianescottlewis